GRATITUDE: A day off for chasing rainbows, eating donuts, doing mad libs on the run with my little hoomans. Thankful also for a last minute plan coming together for tomorrow night’s concert with Nikkie and Pelham, grateful to Raylene for getting me out of my usual Tuesday night and giving me something fun and inspiring to do on my birthday.

FOCUS: It was a holiday Monday with kids off but Eric still at work. Kids actually have off all week so I really need to work hard on. It breaking my routines of sleep, fitness, Japanese that I’ve been working so hard to cultivate these last couple months. I’m sure going to a concert is going to throw a wrench into this week as well but sacrifices must be made for a little fun, right?

INSPIRATION: Reminder to add Lou Reed “Perfect Day” to a soundtrack of my life to put into memory our special day date to Japantown yesterday. Need to start a more curated list of my life’s special unique soundtrack.

GRATITUDE: What a wonderful Sunday today was…the last Sunday I’ll ever be 45. The kids were so responsible and watched themselves for 6 hours at home (even going to get cat food from the pet store!) while Eric and I spent the midday in SF Japantown. We watched “Perfect Days” at the Kabuki AMC after a quick stop for ramen at Marafuku. おいしい! Note to self we need to look up proper chopstick/spoon etiquette.

FOCUS: The movie was really what I needed. I actually can’t even remember if Eric and I have ever been to a movie theatre on our own no kids since moving to California! Regardless, it’s been such a long time since I’ve been moved or seen something that resonated with the simple little joys that I too try to find every day. 今は今。今度は今度。(Ima wa ima. Kondo wa kondo. – – – Now is now. Next time is next time.) I’ll have to expand more on this movie later I think…gotta get to sleep since 5:30 is going to come quickly after staying up and my two cocktails last night for cheat night.

INSPIRATION:

GRATITUDE: Reached Zone 4 in my kettlebell strength workout today! 😳 was out of breath and definitely feeling depleted at day’s end but I’m proud of myself for feeling fairly capable and competent when doing this morning’s workout. Excited to keep tracking progress and seeing how my body hopefully continues to heal from its nutrient deficiencies…it’s such a different mindset from where I was exactly 1 year ago. Was truly feeling weak, old, and unable to do so much last year when I turned 45 but am feeling hope that a pain free future is possible again as I’m about to turn 46 in a few days. Tomorrow is the weekend and looking forward to having Japanese bbq lunch with Sam, and then quick house cleanup before mom & dad come over to share dinner with us to celebrate dad’s 81st birthday. Quick lunch at home before Eric and I had a brief coffee/pastry date at Backhaus. He told me about his problems with the “dumpster fire icon” people issues. I like when he shares his frustrations because I know he’s human too and he often doesn’t share with me this little things.

FOCUS: It’s past 9:30 but gosh am I looking forward to sleeping in a little bit tomorrow.

INSPIRATION:

GRATITUDE: The smile that creeped across my face after the grimace when I realized I cracked my egg yolk when I discovered it made a perfect heart for me. An almost 4 mile walk with Erin whose turn it was to shed the weight of carrying everything for her family and all the newly arising issues around the boys. Her and Chris usually have time to discuss and make joint decisions with almost everything and apparently since they changed the curriculum for his school, Chris has been waking up super early and then working till bed to get ahead. Erin recognized that this is what it must be like with Eric working such late hours and gone most of the days. I know the life of unilateral decisions well, and am grateful for the time I have with the kids to connect and spend with them. I do wish I could somehow share all the thoughts with Eric and bring him in more, but sometimes it’s just so exhausting to rehash all the things. Not to mention he has his own daily work stresses that he internalizes and compartmentalizes also. There has to be some better way to share and make time, but for now I’m just happy we are both focusing on our sleep, health, nutrition…it’s a lot of work trying to be strong. Oh! And somehow Raylene bequeathed me with concert tickets to go see Feist at the Fillmore on my birthday next week! I’m excited to see her work in Seattle moving ahead (a little jealous of this Zoe person whom I know nothing about), but also looking forward to some long drives in the near future to help do some studio reorganizing.

FOCUS: Stay consistent…I’d say we are both doing a pretty good job showing up for ourselves every day so far. My throat is a little scratchy and I’m super low energy this afternoon (probably just allergies from walking by the Bay this morning?) but I can hear that little voice creeping in trying to convince me not to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow. Stay consistent.

INSPIRATION: Showed the kids the Tiny Desk Concert with Philip Glass’ Etude 6 & 5. Pretty intense and almost wish they could listen to it without the visual because it is so full of emotion (however the visual scene really shows the intensity of the finger dexterity and complexity of the piece). Need to show the kids more Tiny Desk…it’s good for all us to have more music in our lives.

GRATITUDE: For a Valentine’s Day where I was able to leave cards with love notes and candy for my family this morning. For a day reminiscent of childhood getting driven around by dad while we exchanged US dollars for Japanese yet followed by both our first outing to Costco business center in South SF. For a body that can feel pretty healthy and fit after a new rowing exercise composed of rowing interspersed with bodyweight exercises on the mat. For Google translate and its ability to understand the listening exercises for my Japanese homework better than I can understand so I can prep for the Lesson 6 quiz. For nighttime because I’m tired and can’t wait to go to close my eyes today…I’m starting to enjoy this sleeping thing too much.

FOCUS: Protein packed day (no rice, no bread today!) and in general must make note that I think it’s helped tremendously with it being day 2 of my period energy wise.

INSPIRATION: Listening more with Dr. Mindy Pelz (The Resetter Podcast) to gain better understanding of how certain lifestyle changes can help women’s cycle/overall health both physical and mental. She’s a big proponent of fasting and its impact on insulin sensitivity. Still need to read her book “Fast Like a Girl.”