GRATITUDE: Got in a one mile walk in the rain this morning in the rain before getting the kids bagel breakfast sandwiches and having them meet us at Starbucks. Afterwards they went home and Eric and I went for a longer walk to get most of our 10000 steps in for the day. Got home and was able to sneak in 150 jumping jacks and done squats despite me saying it was a rest day…I guess this exercise stuff is starting to feel good enough to do just because. Went to watch the next installment of Pied Piper, Honk! And finally salvaged some family time with the start of a Doomlings game despite the kids spending exorbitant amounts of time on YouTube watching Minecraft or magic videos this weekend. Overall it was a nice weekend, but I sure could use one more catch up and tidy the house day! Bedtime before 9:30 today to start the week right!

Better than anyplace on Burlingame Avenue brunch at home…

GRATITUDE: Last Friday of late night swim class for Jasper. Happy to have our relaxed Fridays back but have also enjoyed the late night walks around campus while he was swimming. The cool air, the empty campus, the night lights looking over the peninsula and Bay. Thunder and lightning and crazy wind this evening. Happy I snuck in a pre dinner nap as I was so incredibly tired after mostly working out my oral presentation for Japanese class. Was able to buy tickets to Juniper’s hip hop recital and register for Spring quarter of next Japanese 3 class. Still undecided whether to juggle that these next few months or find the ability to continue studies on my own…felt pretty strong in this morning’s strength workout. I told Eric I actually found myself enjoying the renegade row in plank to frogged and back. That’s a good sign right?

GRATITUDE: Parked at the upper floor of the Hillsdale mall today and was totally reminded of how that’s where mom used to park when we would go when I was a kid. Driving down El Camino in our 1980 something rust colored Toyota Corolla, probably listening to K101 on the radio. There used to be a McDonald’s at the mall back then, and she would get me a cheeseburger happy meal, and I would sit in the back on the colored stools where there was a life sized model of Ronald McDonald himself & maybe the Hamburgler? I could never imagine going to the mall now with the kids as being one of the things we did/do together regularly…but I suppose going to grab boba, or meeting at Backhaus on early dismissal Tuesdays, biking to Suruki market for onigiri and picnic lunch are the same kinds of memories just in a different way. I realized a few weeks ago that soon I won’t be walking either kid to school anymore. Juniper will likely follow suit and be riding the bus in no time to BIS. It’s a strange feeling knowing they are gaining their independence while simultaneously losing my purpose in their lives…maybe not losing but transforming again to something different as it has been continuously doing for the last 12 years. Jasper’s birthday is just 20 days away now.

FOCUS: Japanese assignment #7 done, oral presentation next, and lesson 7 quiz…still trying to decide what to do about spring quarter…I don’t think I can fully commit to another class right now. I want to be out in the garden and planning our Japan trip. I also do t want to lost this learning and keep progressing but could I stay accountable to learning on my own at my own pace? Must look into alternatives and/or come up with an actual schedule…what is doable? The days are getting nice out and it’s time to get seeds in the ground/weeding…need to run again too now that I’m feeling like I can actually do it.

INSPIRATION: Learning more about Japanese words and the weight and subtleties behind their meanings is pretty fascinating-

Natsukashii is a Japanese word used when something evokes a fond memory from your past. It’s a word you exclaim as a smile creeps across your face. Japanese word that means happy nostalgia, it is the moment in which memory transports you to a beautiful memory that fills you with sweetness.

Setsunai is a Japanese word that doesn’t have an exact English translation, but it roughly translates to “the pain of things” or even “sweet sorrow”. It’s derived from the kanji 切 (setsu), which means “to cut”. It’s a mix of happiness and vague sadness, nostalgia or longing for someone or something.

Furusato covers a mix of emotions. In one sense, it captures that melancholy feeling of bygone times and innocence lost. Yet at the same time it carries a feeling of warmth, and fond memories of good times with family and friends.

GRATITUDE: Finding it hard to get momentum for my days this week. Still pushing to get up and power through 5:30 yoga, but the morning routine has been a little off and my morning walk and strength workout had to be adapted to get the kids to morning band/bus stop. It is a good reminder to me just how fragile this system is…sleep, diet, exercise, stress. on another note, not sure what exactly has changed but really my body (right hip/back) today felt like 1 more notch of improvement. I did start the last two days with a protein shake blended with greens from the garden. Today I didn’t do this, but did delay my first meal till after noon and included lentils, sweet potatoes, eggs. Just notes for the future when I wonder what I was eating this point in my life.

I finally finished folding the laundry that’s been on the couch for days. I was able to walk to the grocery store late morning and not have to wear a sweater or jacket. Felt good to have sun on my arms and not be cold. I transformed the post grocery store time into my morning walk, complete with carrying two bags of groceries around town for an improvised farmer’s carry. I think the pain I was getting on my right forearm when lifting my arms out and up in a T is getting less…perhaps I really was that weak? Ordered some creatine yesterday to add to my daily shake…hoping this will help some with the protein, bone density issues I’m still seeing on the scale…some lean muscle gains would be nice too! :b

FOCUS: I really need to get my brain wrapped around my next Japanese assignment, slideshow and quiz. It’s all coming up this weekend and next week. Also, discovered I physically cannot take the next course because the quarter goes until June 29…and we’ll already have been in Japan for 11 days at that point! I suppose this is good, because then maybe I can better focus on Pimsleur and actual dialogue, plus really start planning the details of our most epic adventure yet!

INSPIRATION: Currently listening to “How High We Go Into the Dark” about a strange future pandemic time where the Arctic Plague causes some organ shapeshifter virus. Each chapter is a different character and as the story unravels each character intertwines with another. It’s a little strange after having just listened to “Kafka on the Shore” which was very similar in that respect.

Past my bedtime again but didn’t want to make another half-assed journal entry. 5:30am is going to come too quickly.

Post 9:30 bedtime phone call with Amy about her recent visit with Nancy and trying to help handle financial/online activities more. Didn’t do a proper journal post and went to bed after 11.

GRATITUDE: Feeling so depleted today post yoga, strength workout, walk, Trader Joe’s, pet store, laundry…it feels like a lot accomplished all before 10:30am but there’s still a whole day ahead! Motivation was hard to come by today. Tomorrow I will be better and more diligent. I suppose it could have been the let down after having the kids around 24/7 all week last week. Anyhow, off to bed now to start anew tomorrow.

FOCUS: I thought maybe I’d be able to add this 50 squat/jumping jack/push-up challenge to my day, but I was totally wiped after 25 in the morning and my back thighs have been feeling the effects after all day long! Will try again tomorrow, break it up into more manageable sets, if anything just do the 25 I did today plus jumping jacks. The jumping jacks are definitely easier since started the 7 minute workout last year. I’m not doing that anymore, but probably should do a check in and test if I’ve improved at all…I know I have!

INSPIRATION:

GRATITUDE: Snuck in a long walk with Eric by the bay at Redwood Shores while the kids were at birthday parties. Jasper rode his bike today from home to Henry’s house…maybe his longest solo ride (through downtown SM that he’s ever made). It’s a hard process just trusting that he’s obeying all the rules of the road and being safe but I guess and am trusting this is the way we build self confidence and trust in each other as well. Was able to have a solo dinner with just Juniper which was nice, Eric and I don’t usually have the chance to have solo dates or one on one time with each child. This could be something to strive for in the future. Right now I’m taking time to make mom dates but it would be healthy to make sure Eric is also carving out that time for connection. Also grateful for being able to actually finish my Japanese assignment #6 that has been looking over me all week since the kids didn’t have school and all my progress I. Trying to catch up with lessons has now vanished again…

FOCUS: We attended the zoom call for BodySpec to go over the reports we got back from our scans. Best way to improve was diet, exercise, sleep, reduce stress. It’s really about forming these solid baselines for a lifestyle which I feel pretty good about Eric and I currently making these efforts on our own.

I need to find a new book to begin listening to. As much as I’ve checked out books on my kindle, the reality right now is that audiobooks are just more accessible especially when I can combine walking or other tasks around the house with listening. Need new book though…

INSPIRATION: —-

GRATITUDE: Today is Saturday and so thankful for a day to recover from last night’s best evening of hanging out with Vince, Pel, & Nikkie. Really feeling these days how important strengthening our connections with friends can fill up my being. Also, the importance of Eric and I being together in a scenario where we aren’t always taking about home stuff or the kids or just the normal daily bleh. Probably drank more than I should have but it was worth it in my opinion. We need to have the moments to just be ourselves and to be ourselves with each other, we need the chances to fall in love again. Today we went to Backhaus bread and had an afternoon coffee followed by a long walk while Juniper was at the park with friends and Jasper was at home binging YouTube gameplay videos. I definitely feel like we have graduated to a new level and we need to be aware and conscious of this new opportunity and not take it for granted. Time is precious and I’m trying hard to remember that now is now.

FOCUS: Getting back on track with making time to write in this journal…the last week I’ve barely been able to post a picture to capture the day but without any commentary. As much as I’d like to think I’ll go back and fill in the words, I just need to realize that not every day will be perfect and just maintaining the consistency is the important thing right now.

INSPIRATION: My body is feeling achy and not strong at all today after last night’s indulgence. Tomorrow back to yoga and tonight back to a somewhat normal bedtime. 1 day cheat day per week.